Do not take a picture of me.

If you read last week’s post on why checking is unreliable and thought “right- that’s why I avoid looking at myself!” this post may have more resonance with you. Avoiding images of yourself is also a harder life than you need to be living.

Psychology understands flexibility - readiness to adapt with whatever life throws you-to be aligned with mental wellness. With that understanding, all or nothing when it comes to seeing yourself (either- I spend lots of time each day looking at myself, checking my size, and re-confirming how I look OR I avoid mirrors and photos at all costs- both of these are painful!) is not what we are aiming for as a norm.

For those of us that avoid mirrors and photographs of ourselves, we stay disconnected from our physicality, hoping that if it is out of sight, we won’t feel the pain we have associated with our bodies being the way that they are. The problem with this strategy is that avoidance works against acceptance.

Think about the most biased person you know. Do they have lots of relationships with the types of people they discriminate against? It can be hard for people who have never had a conversation with a person of a different race/religion/ethnicity/sexual orientation to accept them. Without the opportunity to get to know a person, it is much easier to have a problem with who or how they are.* The more you don’t see or interact with your body, you too have more reason to insist you can’t be okay with it. How could you be? You won’t even look at it.

If avoidance is one way you try to manage how much you dislike your body, you are not making anything easier for yourself overall. The more you hide from mirrors and photos, the harder you are ultimately making your relationship with your body.

When you are ready to look at this piece of your recovery (no pun intended), there are some exposures that can help you move towards more of a sense of ease with your body. Which of the following would be the least difficult for you to try: