How far does body acceptance need to go?
Body Acceptance involves allowing ourselves to look and be however we are. It means that we are open to what we’ve been given physically. Body acceptance means that, though it might seem nice to have longer legs or darker skin or fuller lips, we accept “this is what I’m working with!” and we feel okay most of the time about the physical packages we live inside.
Because the anti-diet culture has gotten louder in recent years, more and more people recognize that it is okay to be who and what we are. Some of us are getting closer to the reality that weight loss doesn’t have to be on our to-do list. Some of us are considering that, even if it might feel good to have a different butt/height/waist/breast size, having this body is okay, too.
But sometimes clients get antsy about what is expected of them, if they really drink the Body Acceptance Kool-Aid. Does it mean I have to fully accept everything about the way that I look? Am I betraying those who are working towards self-acceptance if I make alterations to the way that I look?
Lots of people color their hair… does that mean they don’t accept themselves for the way they naturally look?
And speaking of hair, humans are naturally covered in hair, head to toe (except bottoms of feet and palms of hands). Is hair removal not fully accepting one’s body?
If we are to accept ourselves at any size or shape, that may mean that liposuction is contraindicated.
What about breast augmentation?
What about a breast reduction? Is that anti-body positivity?
What about augmentation or reconstruction for those who have had a mastectomy? Is that “okay”?
To continue to explore your own beliefs about Body Positivity, so you can land where you want to with it, indicate for the following whether you would consider doing each to be an indication that you are NOT Body Positive. And, would your answer change if someone else is doing it, rather than you?
Is a person not accepting of themselves if they…
Wear makeup
Sunbathe
Color their hair
Use tanning beds/spray tan
Get botox/fillers/non-invasive cosmetic procedures
Do HIIT workouts
Do hot yoga
Do _____ specific form of exercise (fill in)
Admire other people’s bodies
Is it UN-Body Positive to...
Feel physically attracted to specific features in others (“Everyone I’ve ever dated has been muscular.” or “I think arms are sexy.”)
Feel more/less confident depending on what you are wearing
Notice changes in friends/coworkers bodies
Unfortunately, I’ve seen people get so shunning of what they’ve learned is “bad” or “unhealthy” that they begin to feel guilty for doing things that actually aren’t harmful, just because that thing has been associated with what they are against. Ie: if “dieting is bad,” should I feel guilty for trying to increase my vegetable intake? If I’m supposed to accept my body no matter what, is it okay for me to like the way my body looks as I get stronger?
All or Nothing thinking is limiting when it comes to food, bodies, politics, and people.
The whole point of improving our relationship with our bodies is so that we aren’t plagued by pain. So that our brains aren’t highjacked by thoughts of what we hate. So that we can participate in life, without a pre-occupation of needing to change first. We are eliminating obsessive thoughts in this work, so if there is something that you do that you enjoy and it contributes to a better life for you and those around you, it probably isn’t problematic.
Just like losing weight isn’t intrinsically problematic. It is pursuing weight loss to the detriment of other things that makes it a problem.
It’s impossible to compartmentalise: lack of self-esteem leaves no area of your life untouched, from your work to your relationships. ~Anita Bhagwandas