How to Manage Feelings Schmeelings
Understanding and accepting your emotions moves you away from self-hate.
Are you a thinker or a feeler?
Whichever part you feel dominates, a workable relationship with your emotions is crucial for success.
The Food & Feelings Workbook provides some emotional Do’s and Don'ts:
Do…
allow myself to be vulnerable with people that I trust
fully experience every emotion
be open and accepting of all my emotions
be curious rather than judgmental about my emotions
use people to comfort me when I feel badly, instead of focusing on food
let my emotions come and go as they please without fear
populate my inner circle with intimates who are emotionally mature and healthy
take my time and figure out exactly what I’m feeling
use my feelings along with my judgment to help me reach my goals
Don’t…
pretend I don’t feel anything when I do
ignore or minimize painful feelings
believe that anyone knows better than I do what I’m feeling
let people shame or humiliate me for having or expressing feelings
avoid feelings because they make me uncomfortable
worry about my feelings making me fall apart
be so concerned about hurting other people’s feelings
focus on food when I’m experiencing a painful emotion
be hard on myself if I take awhile to get the hang of this emotions thing
dwell on my feelings after they’ve give me the information I need to make changes in my life
In The Food & Feelings Workbook, Karen Koenig suggests making your own personal list, using the above suggestions as a starting point, to narrow down what you want to focus your efforts on first. Which one or two in the list above either feels most important or would be the easiest to start with, in order to gain some momentum? Can you put any of the above into better words for yourself, that make it more personal or understandable to you?
You’ll be able to put these into practice the more you remind yourself that the list is doable: just be kind to yourself and practice. Doing new things is difficult, especially when it comes to managing emotions! Stay focused, try again and again and again.