How you doing on that MOVEMENT thing?
I'm not letting you off the hook by changing the subject this week.
“Why the hell am I doing this? I hate running!”
Sonya Renee Taylor talks about “the voice of the dreaded ‘should’” that told her she needed to run a 5K. In a larger body, her size 36JJ bra was no reason to keep this loud should from bossing her into “sweat stinging my eyes and shoulders cracking beneath the weight of my ample bosom.” Her body hurt and her gums hurt and about two weeks in, she remembered a West African class that she wanted to sign up for and noted the contrast between this desire and how silly it was to force herself to do something that brought her zero joy.
I love this anecdote from Ms. Taylor because I too have a love/hate relationship with running. I’ve had a similar talk with myself many times (“why am I doing this exercise I hate when I LOVE so many other ways of moving my body?!”). Running can be hard on the body, especially bodies that don’t have an abundance of slow-twitch muscle fibers. (If you aren’t good at running, it is less because you aren’t good enough or disciplined enough and more about your genetic body composition. Kind of like if your nails grow fast or your feet have high arches- nothing to do with your being good or bad, just what you are composed of, just FYI.)
Maybe different from Ms. Taylor though, I keep going back to running at some point every year or two, because running does make me feel good when the “shoulds” don’t get involved. Karly Borden has found purpose in assisting people of all body compositions to find a psychologically healthy relationship with running (if you’d like to find one). I highly recommend checking out her work if running has ever been in your sphere.
But the point of this post isn’t to win anyone over to running. Or any specific activity. Last week’s post encouraged you to try a handful of new activities. This week, think again about any that you’ve tried or any that are on your list and in your calendar to try.
How do we know movement is an inherent joy? Because babies who are completely incapable of forming sentences or peeing in the pot move their bodies to music… babies remind us that our bodies are made for movement and that movement is an act of freedom and radical self-love. ~Sonia Renee Taylor
If we’ve had a poor relationship with exercise in the past, it is natural to, while exercising, focus on “when will this be done?!” As you give yourself the gift of trying activities for the first time (or, for the first time this year) allow yourself to be present for the experience. Here is how:
Once you get to that class or that trail or that game, take notice of:
→what smells do I notice?
The smell of a ballet studio is distinct and most who have ever taken class, especially at an early age, couldn’t miss this. If your activity is outside, the smells will vary - what scents are in the air?
→what physical sensations am I experiencing?
Is there a breeze on your skin? Warmth from the sun? Wind biting your face? Clothing hugging your limbs? Shoes that you aren’t used to?
→who is there to interact with?
As social beings, connection to others is required for our well-being. Even in a solo sport like running, take notice of who you see on the trail or street. If you are on a solo hike, what critters do you encounter? If you are in a class, how can you connect with your classmates, since you are in this challenge together? Many group exercise instructors nowadays encourage saying high to your neighbor or giving someone a high five because we recognize the importance of community, maybe now more than ever.
→what emotions am I experiencing?
In a new activity, especially if it doesn’t come naturally, frustration is very common. This doesn’t have to mean this type of movement isn’t for you. Sonya gave running a couple of weeks before she officially decided it wasn’t for her. While you are exercising you may also feel things like
wonder
Wow! I’m impressed with how others do this so easily!
interest
How does this work?
confusion
Am I understanding it?
pride
I am doing something new!
joy
Moving my body can feel good!
relief
I didn’t realize I could/needed to strengthen or stretch in this way!
Get curious about any and all emotions you experience as you try the ways of moving you selected last week to try in the coming weeks and months. You deserve to milk each experience for all that it is worth.
*The Body is Not an Apology offers concrete tools for acceptance and appreciation of each unique body’s size, shape, color, ability, and ethnicity.