Nonjudgment.
The composition of the word really only indicates what it ISN’T.
Just like, “don’t think about monkey butts!” (And now, you are either wondering what a monkey butt looks like, or you have an image of them in your head.)
As my favorite mentor Pat Love would say, “It is easier to add something positive than take something away.” Making a concept like NON-judgment very unclear as to what it IS we are to actually DO.
Since moving away from judgment (of others, of our own thoughts, of our bodies) is so fundamental to a sense of well-being, we better figure out what it even looks like to do something different. If body acceptance (or any acceptance, for that matter) is dependent upon removing judgment, we have got to figure out what to do instead.
Here is an example of what it means to naturally, without judgment, view oneself. This is from Valerie Monroe, former Beauty Editor of O Magazine, as a woman in her 70’s:
One day a friend who’s my age said, “Sometimes I hate looking in the mirror because I see an old man.” I said, “That’s funny, because when I look at you, I don’t see an old man,” which I think lightened his load a bit. Then I said, “And when I look at myself, I don’t see an old woman, either. I just kind of see my face.”
How would it be to look in the mirror and just kind of see your body?
No comments.
No requests.
No sense of urgency about what is on a To-Do List based upon what you see.
Instead, a sense of calm. A present-mindedness. Rather than spiraling off into thoughts and feelings, being right here, right now. Staying in the moment.
Depending upon which side of Myers-Briggs you fall- P or J- this may come more or less naturally to you. And it gets easier with practice. Mindfulness practices like focused breathing, as simple as they are, allow us to live in the moment. See, hear, taste, smell and feel what is around us, rather than spiraling in our thoughts (which usually aren’t helpful when they aren’t directed anyway).
It is possible to look at yourself and just see yourself. Easily. Without judgement.