If you are on this mailing list, you probably already value therapy more than some people. The old-fashioned idea that therapy is only for people who have a diagnosable mental health disorder is mostly gone, at least in major metropolitan areas. Enough people have found the benefit of working with a professional to improve their relationships, make life more fulfilling, and achieve personal and professional goals that "I can solve my problems on my own," is less of a roadblock than even a decade ago.
One first step, whether you go to therapy or not, in making your life better, is identifying:
what patterns do you fall into again and again?
Maybe you can answer that immediately! If so, I hope you are already moving on towards finding ways of changing up that pattern for yourself! But its okay if you also don't really know what I mean.
These are the things that, more than a couple of times, you've caught yourself and thought, "ugh! I did that AGAIN!" Some examples of patterns people fall in to, that aren't helping them, are things like:
•staying up too late, despite negative effects. •doing things for others that they haven't asked for and that we then resent doing. •spending money you didn't intend to spend, each time you are in a specific store. •opening up very quickly with new people, sharing things you later regret too soon
There is nothing innately wrong with any of these. And these are very specific examples that might not apply to you. In fact, the opposite may apply to you. The point is, one motivational speaker or one self-help book can't tell you what you are doing wrong and then how to fix it. You live your life every single day (more than ANYONE else does!) so you are more likely to know what your tendencies are and what things aren't working for you. *No shade to speakers or books! There are lots of fantastic, super helpful motivational speakers and self-help books!!!
What do you notice yourself doing, or what situations to you keep finding yourself in, that you'd like to understand more? Or stop altogether? Or do differently?
Knowing is half the battle, right? We can’t change what we don’t know is happening.