Suffering is real and almost universal.

Don't be scared to read this article anyway.

It is so easy to see how much better everyone else has it. Even if you aren’t on social media, where the point of posting is to show your followers that you are happy, gorgeous and having an amazing life, it is so easy to tell ourselves that other people’s lives are better.

We talk about comparing in my Body Image Groups for women, usually in terms of “her thighs are bigger than mine” or “she has a flatter tummy than me.” But there is another comparison that is common when we have chosen to dislike ourselves. Comparing our suffering.

So common for the person who “knows” her body is unacceptable is to decide that others don’t face similar problems. This is something that can be eye-opening for the participants in body image groups: people come to the group in different shapes and sizes. “What?! YOU are working on body acceptance?! I’d have no problems if I looked like you…” is sometimes the reaction, when we assume that we must feel the way we do, because we look the way that we do.

Disliking yourself or how you look is not reserved for the physical attributes that you have deemed unacceptable. We can all choose this form of suffering!

“Your inner sensitivities expose you to a minute-to-minute, constant situation in which you are suffering to one degree or another. You are either trying to stop suffering, controlling your environment to avoid suffering, or worrying about suffering in the future.”

― Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

Is this true for you? Are you generally either trying to get out of something you dislike or pre-emptively concerned about what you might not want to happen in the future?

When is the last time you remember feeling carefree? What allowed you to feel that way? What was happening in your mind when you weren’t so focused on a problem?

The way to escape a constant problem-focus is to let go of the idea that you are in charge. Life is not under your control. Just like a woman’s body, life is constantly changing. If you believe life (and your body) is yours to control, you’ll never be able to relax and enjoy it because you will always be on edge and fearful.

Your assignment, if you choose to take a chance, is:

•Identify an upcoming event.