Why is smaller better?
For a newsletter written in the state of Texas, this topic is a bit foreign. “Smaller is better” is not usually the idea around here.
Cars, homes, cattle, hair- all of it supposed to be bigger in Texas. The Texas State Capitol is taller than the U.S. Capitol. If you’ve spent enough time with an average Texan outside of the state, you know that pride in their homeland is bigger than others as well. And yet, for a state so focused on bigger being better, many here still have the idea that the opposite is true for women’s bodies.
If, when you look in the mirror, or down at your body, the first thought is that something should be smaller, have you ever asked yourself WHY that is the go-to thought?
Self-care is really rooted in self-preservation, just like self-love is rooted in honesty. ~Lizzo
What if, as Lizzo suggests, you value self-care to the point that it is how you stay alive? What if your sleep/sunlight exposure/connecting with others/movement each day was more than just “good for me” stuff that happens on weekends?
What would it take to prioritize taking care of yourself: meeting your physical, emotional, spiritual and relational needs? Meeting all of your needs is how you stay alive and well.
In a piece she wrote for NBC news, Lizzo talks about the self-hate/self-love continuum. Most people that choose to look at their painful relationships with their bodies tell me that the idea of self-love is so far-fetched they almost don’t even want to do the work to heal themselves.
I want people first to understand that there are levels to loving yourself. To an extent, choosing not to hate yourself can be a choice, but, at a certain point, people can develop a mental health issues from self-hatred, from bulimia or anorexia to depression.
Sometimes, you need therapy to help you learn to love yourself. I know that therapy is some privileged sh**, and the fact that I'm financially able to afford it, and that I was also in a place where I could accept the fact that I needed it, is incredibly fortunate.
Read more on this topic from Lizzo here.
So the suggestion is:
What if your concept of improvement or of getting better meant
knowing yourself better?
Because you can’t work effectively with anything if you don’t know what you are working with. Developing self- awareness has to happen in order to take care of ourselves. Rather than CHANGE -to be smaller or anything else that is different- how can you see understanding your heart, mind, and body as they are now as the first and most important goal?
Changing “I need to be smaller” to “I need to know myself” gives you more leverage. Historically, the things people do as a result of the panicked thought “I need to be smaller” usually don’t feel very good. Choices made in efforts to take better care of oneself are self-reinforcing: getting deep sleep each night, sunlight in the morning, time with people you care about and moving and stretching your body generally feel good as you are doing them, and make you feel better as a baseline.